Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
porn star boner night. come get it.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
