drunk tastebuds have low standards.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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