I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
