DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
this boner is exhausting
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
