i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
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