remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
