He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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