If you die in college, do you die in real life?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
