Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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