My nipple is on Facebook.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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