laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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