She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize