Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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