I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
