I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
