I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
