Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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