You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
