false alarm. still invincible.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
