Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
