I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
