I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
