she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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