and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
