I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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