marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
