I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
