I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Green mimosas i think yes
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
