i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
