It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
