u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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