I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
