She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He felt like a one man threesome
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
