i just had sex bonerless
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
