dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
