First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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