All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
