I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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