Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
