Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
