I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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