Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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