You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
