so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
