i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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