she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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