omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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