wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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