I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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