Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
