had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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