idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Everything about him screamed your future.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
