you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
