margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you traded sex for a burrito?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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