if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
