Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
