u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
