this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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