i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
