I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize