It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
