yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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