Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
