It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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