I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
