As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
