he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize