I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
