People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
