I wanna bring you to show and tell
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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