I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
