I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
