Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
