so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
