Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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