I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
