The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
