The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
